Leaders with Toxic Positivity: A Reflection on Personal Experiences
I need to preface this blog with a disclaimer as the topic has been somewhat triggering for me. So, please forgive the occasional rants… Also this is not a peer reviewed publication… It’s a personal blog, so…!
The term Toxic Positivity is a rather new term for me, but one I have experienced with multiple leaders. In a profession where professionalism is seen as politeness, not making waves, being discreet, conformity and assimilation, remaining in your place, not speaking out of turn, the calming of their passion, and as to quote social media, to be “very demure, very mindful”.... is an expectation, and the cultivation of leaders with toxic positivity should be an expectation. The expectations in many organizations have turned into blind obedience to the established hierarchy and to present an affect of joyfulness at all times and Human Caring theories are weaponized to subdue the injustice faced by nurses so they remain silent. Disagreements, passionate discussions, and advocacy are seen as threats when it does not align with the organization and labels you as a troublemaker and on the HR radar! (PSA - HR is not your friend)
In the modern workplace, positivity has become the hallmark of good leadership. After all, who doesn’t want to work for someone who exudes optimism and encouragement? However, when positivity becomes blind to reality, it can turn into toxic positivity—and in leaders, this is a damaging trait to individual talent, teams, and organizations.
Toxic positivity in leadership is more than just a tendency to "look on the bright side." It’s the unrelenting insistence that you maintain a positive outlook, even in the face of serious challenges, genuine concerns, or impossibilities. Words like “resilient” (my “F” word of Nursing), “teamwork”, “gratefulness”, and “family” are thrown about like candy to diminish your outrage. While fostering positivity is important, ignoring or dismissing negative experiences, silencing your staff, and pretending nothing is wrong will stifle growth, alienate team members, and create a toxic work environment.
Toxic positivity happens when leaders focus so much on positivity that they refuse to acknowledge or validate any other emotions, struggles, or genuine concerns. For example, one of my super powers is finding the Swiss cheese holes in a process. Here are a few comments that I can recall after offering critical feedback:
“Let’s not dwell on problems—just think positively!”
“Let’s just concentrate on how we can do this”
“We’re all family and have to chip in and make sure we make (X) happen”
“You’re a valued leader and we need you to make this happen”
On the surface, what these leaders say may seem harmless, but ignoring red flags and failing to address issues timely, can leave people feeling silenced, unsupported, and even gaslit. In high-pressure environments, such as healthcare settings, where failure can have critical consequences, this approach can undermine team effectiveness and well-being.
In my opinion toxic positivity often comes from two places. First, from a place of good intentions and blissful ignorance. Some leaders may believe they are motivating their teams or shielding them from negativity, often the result of drinking the corporate Kool-Aid once too many times; unaware of the outside world and content! Others may be uncomfortable with confrontation or vulnerability, preferring to project confidence at all costs. The second place, leaders have learned to weaponize this and manipulate staff. Some leaders simply use it for coercion because they lack the knowledge, skill, and competence as leaders and lack the ability or will to address underlying issues. These behaviors create an environment of emotional suppression, where team members feel unable to express frustrations or seek help when they need it. Often resulting in the turnover of talent!
So how does this effect teams or individuals? Well, in many ways it’s a silent killer, resulting in the talent isolation, distrust, disengagement, decrease in productivity, and not sharing ideas/thoughts/and innovations.
As someone who has unfortunately experienced this firsthand, here some signs I know are key indicators that you may be working for or with someone displaying toxic positivity traits
Takes on any and all tasks given to them by their higher ups regardless of capacity or resources to endear themselves. ( The “Brownie Points Bandit” leader”
Seeing themselves as a cheerleader. (the “cheerleader” leader?)
Associating your value based on your sociability and positive experiences with them. (The “how well can you party with me?” leader)
Dismissing or ignoring constructive assessment or feedback. (The “three monkeys” leader, doesn’t want to see it, hear it, or talk about it)
Use motivational clichés like “hang in there” or “if you believe you can do it, you will”, or “the team is counting on you to make this happen” (The “cat poster” leader)
Refusing or avoiding difficult discussions (the “hide and go seek” leader)
Ignore warning signs of burnout, or as I like to call it “Burn Down” (the “match stick” leader)
Blaming employees for negative outcomes and taking credit for accomplishments (the “grand theft auto” leader)
Isolating staff that may disagree or are not “yes” employees. (the “off to the towers with you” leader)
Have a temporary fix it mindset to everything. (the “band aid” leader)
Rewarding or praising employees as long as they appear perpetually positive or social. (the “conditional love” leader)
Pushing to do more with less with a sense of optimism. Selling you on value where there is none to be gained or had. (The “used Cars salesman” leader)
Lacks operational or theoretical vision but maintain positivity. (the “ignorance is bliss” leader)
And my favorite
Makes you figure out the problem you went to them for in the first place with the “You’re smart! I’m sure you’ll figure out a way”. (the “UNO Reverse Card” leader)
Effective leadership isn’t about maintaining constant positivity. It’s about authenticity, emotional intelligence, and the ability to support teams through both successes and setbacks. Leaders who understand the balance between optimism and realism create trust, innovation, and have effective, functional, and well-balanced teams.
In the end, it’s not positivity that drives success. It’s your ability to support, empower, and inspire your team to be successful. Cheerleading alone doesn’t cut it.
I hope this also validated some of your own experiences… You are not alone!
